Picture this

One of the things I've discovered if I'm going to be serious about blogging is I have to have my camera with me at all times. Learning to use it is another issue. Brad gave me a camera for Christmas this year, and I'm getting better all the time. I'm also going to have to get over my deep desire not to have my own picture taken. Brad loves to take pictures and is a great photographer, but I have been an unwilling participant for most of our married life. It's not hard for me to to know why. I have spent most of my adult life on or off a diet, leaving my body image pretty scrambled.

I lost a lot of weight last year, so there are lots of pictures of me. I think the last time I willingly had a picture taken was in 1996 or 1997 when I'd lost weight again. There are maybe a few months in the previous dozen years when I felt like my weight was under control--usually those few months after I had a baby. For whatever reason, I took better care of myself when I was pregnant, and I always looked pretty good after the baby came.

The last few months I've been meaning to go back to Weight Watchers tomorrow because I've gone back to my bad eating habits. I went walking with my friend Linda last week, and we talked about why it should be embarrassing to face the people at Weight Watchers. A good question, with a not so good answer. My sister-in-law Pat asked me recently why we can't seem to stay with the program on our own? I told her I have no idea, but it's got to be why WW is still in business after almost 50 years.

It's not unusual that any topic I raise often goes back to my weight, but I really do want to be the subject of my blogging life. That means I'm going to have to put my picture out there. This also means that "tomorrow" starts today. Diane, my Weight Watcher lecturer, has a class tomorrow morning. If I can face her, I might be ready to get back on the road to having my picture taken again. Let me go find my camera.