It's all relative

For some reason I keep coming back to the issue of "cold." My friend Sue shared the following with me, giving a welcome perspective on Michigan winters. It's even funnier when read aloud to a friend.

65 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Michigan plant gardens.

60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Michigan sunbathe.

50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Michigan drive with the windows down.

40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Michigan throw on a flannel shirt.

35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Michigan have the last cookout before it gets cold.

20 above zero:
People in Miami all die.
Michiganders close the windows.

Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Michigan get out their winter coats.

10 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Michigan are selling cookies door to door.

20 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Michigan let the dogs sleep indoors.

30 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Michiganders get upset because they can't start the Snow-mobile.

40 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Michigan start saying...'Cold enough fer ya?'

50 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Michigan public schools will open 2 hours late